My kids invented swearing

I have a potty mouth. I can’t help it.

Too often my son has reprimanded me for saying the “S” word when I drop something, spill something, or trip. These things happen quite a bit, now that I think about it.

When he was a toddler, I did a really good job filtering myself and keeping the bad words under my breath. And so, when the “F” word first escaped his lips last year, I immediately blamed myself for swearing too often and teaching him this word. Side note: Hearing your child say the “F” word in his little, tiny, innocent voice is one of the strangest hings you’ll ever hear. Trust me.

I asked him where he had heard that word, just to clarify that I was, indeed, teaching him invaluable vocabulary lessons at home that he could not get in school. He proceeded to tell me that he had made up this word himself and so, even though he was obviously quite proud of himself and because I didn’t want him to repeat it, I told him the truth. It was not a nice word and he shouldn’t use it. Luckily, he didn’t question me on that.

A few months later, he came from school and told me he knew what the middle finger meant. I played dumb (I do that so well, I should get an award) and asked him to clarify. “It means a bad word,” was all he managed to say but I could tell he was thrilled that he knew such a sophisticated hand signal.

Just last month, when he was playing an online game, he announced, excitedly, that he had beaten “Fuckface” two times in a row. Immediately, I went to see what website he was on and was embarrassed to see that he was playing a game through my very own Facebook account.

I cannot wait to see what he teaches his baby brother, although already, he too is cursing with the best of them. He was only a few weeks old when it started.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sign language counts, right?

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Peace Begins in the Home